There are so many ways to meet someone to date. You have actual dating services online, speed dating and for those who are in a real hurry to meet Mr. Right, there's the show "Love At First Sight." At what limits are you willing to go to meet the right person? I want to share a bit of my single days with you, how I finally met my "Mr. Right" and my advice according to what worked for me.
In my early twenties I was absolutely consumed with meeting the right guy, getting married and having babies. It was all I thought about. When I went to the grocery store, the mall, out to eat with friends, etc., I'd wonder if that was the place I'd meet him. It sounds ridiculous, but it's the truth and I'm certain I'm not alone. I'd date here and there, but there was nothing promising within those dates. This went on for some time. It became frustrating. I began to question myself by wondering if I were too picky. I did have a list of things I wanted in a man and didn't stray from the important things. I wanted a Godly man who loved Jesus more than himself or anyone else, even me. I didn't want a lazy man because there's just nothing good about that and I also wanted him to want a family. These are just a few of the things I had on my list. I believe this list was my saving grace and kept me focused on the important things.
After a while, I got tired of dating. I'd graduated from college and started my career and was loving it. I was going different places, I traveled and just really enjoyed "myself". Though, I still wanted to be married, it wasn't top priority in my thoughts. I even prayed to the Lord that if it wasn't His will for me to get married, change my desire. I knew marriage wasn't for everyone when I prayed this and the way everything had gone, I'd rather be single than with the wrong man. I wanted to be happy in a marriage and divorce was not an option for an easy out when things went wrong. So, I was no longer searching and no longer actively caring like I did before. Don't get me wrong, I still wanted to get married, but it didn't consume me.
Not to bore you with all of the details, several years later I married my college sweetheart. Wait, what!!? I know, I know (we may cover that story in another post). I will say this; sometimes, things are not meant to happen when you want them to or think they should. However, in saying that, if you are looking for love, marriage and babies, lol, here's what worked for me.
1. Stop looking! Patience is key. Sometimes when you always looking for someone or something, it's easy to settle. I look back at some of the guys I dated and know I should have declined the date. They weren't bad guys (that type wasn't my thing), but they weren't right for me even as a date.
2. Love yourself! Enjoy being with you, doing the things you enjoy. If you don't really know what you're into this would be the time to get into hobbies. If you don't know who you are and what you want, getting into a serious relationship may not be a good thing.
3. Know what you really want in a man and what you don't. Make that list, girl! If you love Jesus, you don't want to get with a man who doesn't love or believe in Him. The list can keep you focused on the imporant things and less shallow. It will be harder to settle when you know what you want. Marriage is a commitment and it's too serious to take lightly.
4. Have self respect. I don't care what magazines, talk shows or reality tv tells you/portrays; how you carry yourself and how you dress will determine who you attract. Carry yourself like you're a diamond and you will be treated like one. Dress the way you carry yourself. You don't have to show off your assets (if you know what I mean). I'm not saying you need to dress like the women on 'Little House On The Prairie', but you don't need to show the goods to catch a man. Now, there will forever be jerks in the world, but you don't want to be a magnet to all of them. I promise you; self respect, self respect, self respect.
If you're looking for "The One", "Mr. Right" or the "Love Of Your Life" and what you've been doing hasn't been going well, I hope that the things that worked for me will help and give you a few things to think about and consider. Everyone has there own love story, so always be willing to share what worked for you with others. I'd love to hear your thoughts and your stories, so feel free to leave a comment.
Thank you so much for visiting me here. I really appreciate it!